Tag Archives: marriage

‘CHEAP SEX’ IS DESTROYING MARRIAGE

A NEW MORALITY OF SEX?

The words of the pope and the Vatican commissions fall for the most part on deaf ears, as is obvious from polls and other indications that even faithful Catholics no longer conform to Church teachings on sex. Vatican efforts against “artificial” methods of birth control have been in vain, and the Church has suffered such a general loss of credibility that its preachments on sex are ignored if not scorned by the overwhelming majority of Catholics.

Christian fundamentalists see it, of course, as a clear indication of the devil’s power over fallen humanity. But their hellfire-and-brimstone warnings reach only a tiny portion.

The enormous increase in the material standard of living, allows people more freedom to experiment.

There is an increasing corruption of morals and unbridled exaltation of sex. In addition, Christians are confused because of the diversity of opinions contrary to the teaching of the Church.

The Church’s position is enunciated in the basic principle, drawn from natural law, that the sexual function has its true meaning and moral goodness only in marriage, so the document of the Church goes on to rule out premarital sex, homosexual acts and masturbation .

Premarital sex is ruled out by the Church even when the partners are deeply committed to each other and are impeded from marrying only by adverse circumstances.

On the other hand, sex has the potential to bring people to the deepest level of intimacy.

CHEAP SEXCHEAP SEX

In his recently released book “Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage and Monogamy,” Regnerus examines the dramatic changes in American sexual beliefs that have led to an inability among increasing numbers of young men and women to marry, have children and be faithful to one another.

Three technological developments — highly effective contraceptives, high-quality Internet pornography and on-line dating/meeting services — have made sex (or sexual release) as easy to get in the U.S. as  water from a tap. Together, they drive down the cost of real sex, and in turn slow the development of love, make fidelity more challenging and have even taken a toll on men’s marriage ability. No longer playing a supporting role in relationships, sex has emerged as a central priority in relationships.

Everything in this new world is instantaneous……..everything is available and at their finger tips! Cheap sex has become like eating fast food. it is a NOW generation. They younger generation has a hard time looking down the road –planning for the future.

There is an emergence of something called Confluent Love”, which is “not forever” love, but love that asks whether this relationship is satisfying for both parties. When one party answers “no,” the relationship does not continue. Confluent love is the new norm that is shaping our dating and marriage relationships. For good or ill, neither partner will be happy with the final result.

In generations past, women generally made men wait until marriage to have sex. To get a wife (and, therefore, sex), men had to be clean and presentable and have a good job. This, Regnerus reasons, gave men all the motivation they needed to become respectable members of society. Nowadays young men can skip the detour of getting education and career prospects to qualify for sex. Now with porn on demand and greater reproductive freedom, sex is a commodity available at any time.

MEN AND WOMEN DIFFERENCES

Men and women are not the same with regard to sex. In general, men have more desire for sex than women. Women desire sex too, but they also want it with love, attention, care and, if they are smart, permanence. Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and even if they don’t want to give it away cheaply, men now expect it and can go elsewhere if a woman does not put out. In other words, if women want male attention, they have to give sex away cheaply because other women do and men won’t hang around if they don’t. It’s a vicious circle which leads to untold numbers of young people who have failed relationship after failed relationship.

WOMEN DIFFICULTIES

Many women tend to be so hungry for love and touch that a little sex may give it to them, and so they may keep men on a chain. As compared to the past, many women today expect little in return for sex, in terms of time, attention, commitment or fidelity. Men, in turn, do not feel compelled to supply these goods as they once did.

Heterosexual women will have increasing difficulties finding a partner worth committing to. This leads women to settle, entering into doomed or otherwise unsatisfying marriages.

Women are getting married less because they are getting higher paying and higher educational jobs. But because women want to marry up, they only want to date the top 20% of men this presents a unique problem when all of the female population wants the same top 20% of men 

TRUE LOVECHEAP SEX TRUE LOVE

There are those who still believe in the sanctity of marriage or a solid committed relationship with one partner. They believe in romantic LOVE that is for the long haul. They are usually loyal to whoever they fall in LOVE with. They believe in the old school ways of thinking where people stayed in marriages for better or worst. Whoever they fall in LOVE with will always come home to them.

There are many people who are very much in LOVE and who prefer to be together without the signed contract of marriage. Others prefer the one on one kind of committed LOVE celebrated at the altar with God as the third important Partner. These are healthy relationships, where both people should have their own personal space to shine in their own beautiful light. It’s that kind of LOVE that you can see yourself having a life with, creating a family, growing old with and seeing your children become adults and being grandparents together. This is the kind of love that men are losing by not marrying. Whoever you fall in LOVE with will always come home to you.

SOCIAL CHANGECHEAP SEX

Marriage has become less of a priority for both genders simply because it is no longer made out to be the sole purpose of growing up in life… Education, travel, independence have all become valid and attainable choices for many. Both men and women no longer feel pressured to marry young.

These developments steer people away from thinking of sex as having anything to do with love, monogamy, or child-bearing — all traits that most Americans have long equated with marriage. Because sex is so readily available, people have lost the script that led them to marriage, family and permanence.

As women start to become more demanding of men, men turn away from women in pursuit of pleasure that costs little to nothing. We have failing rates of marriage and even greater rates of divorce.

As a consequence, men lose 50% of their property (real estate, cash, investments, etc) after divorce, plus add to this amount up to 18 years child support, including spousal support. So the costs can be staggering.

CHEAP SEX Continue reading ‘CHEAP SEX’ IS DESTROYING MARRIAGE

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SOUL MATES

SOUL MATES

The soul has a strong desire and need for intimacy, and it loves vernacular life—that particular place, family, friends, neighborhood that are part of our daily life. That is why we look at ways of being in any kind of relationship soulfully: bonds that we feel with certain people.

A soul mate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected by divine grace. There is nothing more precious in life than our soul mate. Actually, this form of intimacy is not limited to one person or one form.

We are not talking about the interpersonal mechanics that comes to the foreground. Some nonchalantly say that we are simply programmed to act the way we do – almost like a machine. Not so! Today’s communication is technically sophisticated and speedy, but not necessarily more soulful.

We are dealing with questions like, “what is this thing when we fall madly in love?”, or “Why is this deep love never seemed to be satisfied?”, or “What is it that the soul wants upon separation?”

Some of us are frustrated and ask, “What is this continued failure to find love?” There are troubling aspects: doubts, distancing, desire for separation and freedom and endings. We suffer symptoms of loss of soul. The reason why we have so much trouble with relationships today may be our neglect of the study of the soul.

SOUL MATES

The soul loves attachments of all kinds – to places, ideas, times, sounds and music even in the ordinary details of everyday life. There are two pulls on our life: one upward toward success, progress, and intellectual clarity and another downward into individual, quiet life.

We have strong desires to have a family, live with another person, or join a community and yet after this has been satisfied, we are still drawn in exactly the opposite direction – our intimacy and our solitude. We must learn to honor both togetherness and individuality at the same time, even though we may sometimes feel a tug to one side only.

There are really two goals: one, to come to know yourself and two, to get to know the deep and subtle richness of the soul of the other. The final objective is to be both intimately connected with one another and at the same time, preserve one’s integrity and individuality.

This can be accomplished by giving the other sufficient emotional space in which to live and express one; then to risk revealing your own soul, complete with all its own absurdities. There are deep roots that may never have been revealed because of a lack o communication. The solution is not knowledge but love and a feeling that “you are accepted” by the other

We look at ourselves and we don’t like what we see. We try to change but the old imperfections remain steadfast. The basis of all relationships starts with the recognition that you have to be a friend to yourself – intimacy with oneself. The answer has everything to do with developing a good, intimate relationship to our own soul and the soul of others.

SOUL MATES

THE SOUL OF THE FAMILY

People living in the modern life often complain about a loss of traditional values and about feeling aimless, rootless and adrift. The culture of the family is a resource into which a person may dip throughout one’s life for direction, meaning and style.

One task is to forgive our parents for being imperfect. Life is much richer if we could let go of the excuse of parental failure and to establish a satisfying relationship with them. We benefit from the richness of a family and in particular of family stories, which identify who we are. The family may be one of the most powerful creative forces in our lives.

SOUL MATES

THE SOUL OF MARRIAGE

There is intermingling of souls that culminate in marriage – a demanding form of relationship. Marriage is a mystery, a sacrament and a sacred symbolic act. The interior of marriage is magical: it is fulfilling union that supplies a profound need for meaning, fulfillment and relatedness: a good home, fine children, happy days. Continue reading SOUL MATES

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RESCUING A MARRIAGE

MARRIAGE UNDER STRESS

Marriage is under considerable stress as reflected by the divorce statistics. Today, the family has less support from close relatives living with or near them, because today’s family unit tends to be more self-contained. Husbands and wives tax each other to satisfy each other’s emotional needs. Couples simply do not expect so much from each other. Yet, the couples tend to be more disappointed when the marriage is less than idyllic as they had hoped. Children are very affected by this when they see the only human relationship that they know, fall apart.

RESCUING A MARRIAGE

The process of achieving independence for the children is not easy. Many parents seem to lack the insight or patience to help their children bring their own personality into the light of the day.

SAVE A MARRIAGE

rescue marriage

In his candid first book, “The All-or-Nothing Marriage”, Mr Finkel examines both how he and his wife survived the worst, and how other couples might do the same.

He argues that high expectations for a marriage greatly benefit a couple when times are good, but are counterproductive when times are tough. Mr Finkel and his wife made it through their own emotional rough weather by lowering expectations for a few years. Couples with high expectations are almost twice as happy during easier times as couples with lower expectations—but they are also almost twice as unhappy during hard times. Continue reading RESCUING A MARRIAGE

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Divorced Protestant Marrying a Catholic?

DIVORCED PROTESTANT TO MARRY A CATHOLIC?

Will the Catholic Church overlook my previous marriage since it wasn’t in the RC Church? Would I need an annulment? Would I need to convert or do I simply make the “child upbringing pledge?”      What about divorced Protestants who wish to marry a Catholic?

 Perhaps no issue arouses more antagonism or controversy than divorce.

Marriage Divorce Catholic

You really cannot paint all Protestant churches with the same brush when it comes to marriage except that their marriages are considered valid until proven otherwise.

What about divorce? Jesus’ stark warning is that divorce is not valid in God’s sight, and that remarriage is therefore adultery. Mark 10:11-12 So I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”                                                                                                                                                   Matthew 5:32

So our Lord recognizes that the sin of fornication, committed by either the husband or the wife, can so mutilate the marriage bond that the two must live separately.

Marriage is intended by God to be a “perfect union of persons and full sharing of life”. And so a perfect union is of its nature indissoluble.

Catholic Marriage

 God can begin again the work of creating that miracle of oneness which he intends for us. This is what marriage is all about. It is God’s way of putting two lives together to produce a oneness that will be a testimony to the whole world of the grace and the power of God to change human lives. He can soften hearts, and remove hardness, and change people into what they ought to be. This is what marriages are for.

The two can undo their own work; but they cannot undo the work of God. God has joined together. And together they remain, until God Himself comes to put them asunder in death.

The Church always presumes that marriages are valid until proven invalid — Protestant marriages included. 

Catholic Marriage Protestant

Some people enter into marriage without understanding the essentials of the commitment they are making. Without knowing what they are consenting to, a man and a woman cannot actually give full consent to a marriage union. Without this consent, a marriage does not really take place, even if the ceremony is performed and the marriage certificate is signed. This is what is known as an “invalid” marriage. Continue reading Divorced Protestant Marrying a Catholic?

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THE WORLD PROBLEM 2

THE WORLD PROBLEM

The World Bank estimates that the world problem is that a quarter of the world is chronically under nourished. It is shocking to know that this problem has been with us for centuries. This world problem seems too remote for most people. Hunger continues to initiate the most violent wars. People who are out of work and are starving are the stuff of which dictatorships are made. Yet, no one truly desires anyone to suffer or starve.

A Meaningful Existence

Most of us live for tomorrow: it will be better, richer, wiser and more secure.

We are all searching for something that will make our existence more meaningful. Even the ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would have to answer two questions: “Did you bring joy?” and “Did you find joy?”

We truly have an obligation to be the best person that we can. Any new learning, which will aid us in obtaining that goal, will benefit  everyone. Each of us has something special to contribute. There is something that each of us can do if we are willing. Finding ways to become involved is a good beginning.

We can use the time that we are given to give birth to our potential — our human trademark. We are challenged  to see new possibilities. We are living at a time of abundant new beginnings.  It is actually exciting when people come to grips with their own uniqueness as individuals.

We are constantly told that nothing is free and that every investment has to have a return. Yet, over 50% of people volunteer their time at something to improve society.

An Earthly Paradise

The Buddhist tell a story of the frog lodged at the bottom of the well, which cannot  ever understand the limitless expanse of the sky. If we can only step out of our own perceptual traps, we can begin to see the beauty and goodness.

An earthly paradise is not some far-off impossible destination. It can be a loving voyage in the here and now. We are responsible for creating our own paradise and the time to start the voyage is NOW.

world problems

The Save-the-World Mind Set

We are living through a period of an unprecedented social and technological change.  This rapid advancement in technology and human networks have exponentially opened up new pathways to actualizing one’s passions. People want to broadcast and express themselves and even cultivate a following. There is an increased global awareness and connections to others in remote areas.

Many people do not associate helping the poor around the world as a calling from God. They think that Christianity is a laundry list of vague beliefs that have little meaning on how they spend their time. Actually, they lack a deep understanding of their faith and that following Jesus is a way of life..

Many people aspire to science-related careers. Some people assume that science has cornered the world on knowledge: things are only true when they are tested with scientific methods. There is a name for this: scientism. This thinking must not become more important than obedience to God.

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Above is what Sir Isaac Newton said about his belief:  He credited his Creator with the existence of the universe.

Each moment has a life upon itself with as much potential for joy and happiness as we are willing to bring to it: life is wonderful; joy is our birthright and love is what it is all about.

Love

Having more of anything other than the love for God and neighbor will leave you dissatisfied with relationships and possessions.

To love is the greatest of human experience and sooner or later we discover that life without it is empty and meaningless. Love is always worth the effort.

Kindness in giving creates love. Each of us bears a torch but we must keep it lit. The hope of tomorrow is that these blazing torches will provide hope for tomorrow. We want to leave the world a better place for our having to be in it.

To Build a Team

Continue reading THE WORLD PROBLEM 2

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CAN A SMART PERSON BELIEVE IN GOD?

 BELIEVE IN GOD?

Believe in God

The truth is every one of us “believes”.  Everyone of us has “faith”. What divides us is we believe in a different God.

According to a poll in 2000 by Princeton Survey Research Assoc., 94% of us believe in the existence of God. In fact, over the last 50 years the percentage of Americans have never dropped below 90%*.

The irony is that secular humanists who see themselves as smart, free-thinking realist and believers in God as dim-witted, superstitious sheep.

Most people today prefer the word spiritual, which connotes a truly personal relationship with God, one that’s unburdened by dogma and ceremony.

This author,  Michael Guillen , Can a Smart Person Believe in God?,  believes spirituality and religiousness transcends what the mind alone cannot understand fully.  The totally rational or dualistic mind invariably misses the point, and just calls things it does not understand wrong or stupid.

Look at the biologists who study the human eye retina but cannot give any credit to the spectacular design, except  for a mindless purposeless universe.  They cannot relate to God any more than fish can to a warm fire.

Then we come to the practical atheist: someone who believes in God but lives as if he or she doesn’t. They avoid discussing God or religion and avoid reading anything spiritual.

For those who believe that the universe was nothing more than a breathtaking accident consider the following:

  • Belief in God has nothing to do with intelligence.
  • Science has never been able to prove that God doesn’t exist.
  • Be polite! If someone cooks you a great meal, have the courtesy to thank that person. Why would you not do the same concerning our universe.

Continue reading CAN A SMART PERSON BELIEVE IN GOD?

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PERSONALIZED PHOTO CARTOON

PERSONALIZED CARTOONS

Personalized Cartoons pHoto
Personalized Cartoons are new and exciting: 500 to choose from: most interests, hobbies, sports occupations, family events, lovers, in both gender.

PRODUCT CATEGORIES

Art  Flying  Police & Security
BALL GAMES (Big Balls) Friends & Lovers Real Estate & Building
Ball Games (Small balls) Great People Religious Touch
Bath Time Hair Styles & Fashion Restaurant Scene
Bed Time Hockey  Running 
Birthdays Horse Lovers Sailing & Windsurfing
Boating Interests & Hobbies Scouts and Guides
Business  Kitchen Time
Sport Greatest
Cat & Dog Lovers Medical World Sporting World
Cycling  Motor World Travel World  
Dance  Music  Water Magic
Education Occupations Winter Magic
EVENTS (Life’s Important Moments) Outdoors Police & Security
FAMILY  Parents

OUR FAVORITE CROSS COUNTRY SKIER OUR FAVORITE CYCLIST OUR FAVORITE ARCHITECT 8m48joel OUR FAVORITE MOTHER OUR FAVORITE BATHERS OUR FAVORITE ACTRESS OUR FAVORITE DANCER OUR FAVORITE ROMAN CATHOLIC OUR FAVORITE FORESTER

OUR FAVORITE ARTIST

Continue reading PERSONALIZED PHOTO CARTOON

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MARRIAGE — FANNING THE FLAME

A LIFELONG ATTRACTION

Marriage is not only a lifelong attraction of two people to each other, but a call for two individuals to witness together to God’s love. The basis of marriage is not only mutual affection or feeling, or emotions and passions that we associate with love, but a vocation: being elected to build together a house for God in this world.

People should not be so wrapped up with each other, so that they don’t expect too much of each other, but instead they are able to play the game of love in freedom. Those who are most detached from life, those that have learned that there is nothing and nobody in this life to cling to, are really creative people. They are free to move away from the familiar, safe places and can keep moving forward to new, unexplored areas of life.

One Instrument Ceremony

We

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agree and Solemnly Declare that we will herewith unite as

One Instrument

Behold I will make thee a new sharp threshing instrument having teeth: thou shall thresh the mountains, and beat them small, and thou shall make the hills as chaff.

Thou shall fan them, and the wind shall carry them away, and the whirlwind shall scatter them: and thou shall rejoice in the Lord, and shall glory in the Holy One of Israel.                                    Isaiah 41:15, 16

Lord, your worthy to be praised, and we praise you

Lord, you’re worthy to bow down to and we bow down to you.                      

Lord, you’re worthy to be worshiped, and we worship you.                             

We praise you, we bow down to you; we worship you.

                                    

Lord, you’re worthy to be honored, and we honor you.

Lord, you’re worthy to believe in, and we believe in you.

Lord, you’re worthy to be trusted; we put our trust in you.

We honor you; we believe in you; we put our trust in you.

                                   

Lord, you’re worthy to be loved and we love you.

Lord, you’re worthy of our life; we give our life to you.

Lord, you’re worthy; Oh so worthy we give our all to you.

We love you; we live for you; we give our all for you.

Date                                                                                               Signatures Continue reading MARRIAGE — FANNING THE FLAME

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