Explaining Depressing Feelings
How do you explain depressing feelings? Have you ever felt that the world is full of deception – nothing and no one should be trusted. Such notions, arises from disillusionment, distrust of one’s fellow beings, unhappiness and eventually, despair. Life has suddenly and devastatingly become devoid of meaning; we arrive at a time of life-threatening crisis. Meaning and purpose for life cannot be found. Where and to whom can one turn? Who can one trust to find the right answers?
We seem to be ‘looking through a glass darkly’ — looking at what was going on around us as if we were a detached observer – being there and involved but also feeling that somehow we weren’t really present.
We cry more than any normal person should; we don’t care to eat, cook, or clean, we don’t care to see our friends. We can’t focus at work, or carry out our daily responsibilities at home. When we step back and think about it, we wonder, is there a point to being alive?
It’s a frightening thought when we realize we’ve just admitted to ourselves there could be no reason to be here. There is a difference between being sad, and being sad for no reason. A sadness deep in your bones that does not want to go away after time and effort. It’s not something anyone wants to readily admit.
We practice making lists on why our life is something to be envious of, but that doesn’t help. It makes one hate oneself more for being sad when one has it so good. Then you say to yourself that you are a failure…and it spirals from there. It’s awful. It’s exhausting. It’s black.
People brush you off by telling me you that you need, “exercise and a combination of certain vitamins,” or, “think of the starving children in Africa without clean water to drink.”
So you realize that you need help. You struggle with showing any signs of weakness, but asking for help is not something you can easily do. You are not sure there is anything any one person could do or say; you suppose this is a dark valley ; you have to go at it alone. You can only hope you make it out the other side.
You are afraid that you will spend your life chasing happiness. But at times, you wonder if you are just running.
A friend expresses concern that one day your stress may actually lead to chronic illness or depression.