A NEW MORALITY OF SEX?
The words of the pope and the Vatican commissions fall for the most part on deaf ears, as is obvious from polls and other indications that even faithful Catholics no longer conform to Church teachings on sex. Vatican efforts against “artificial” methods of birth control have been in vain, and the Church has suffered such a general loss of credibility that its preachments on sex are ignored if not scorned by the overwhelming majority of Catholics.
Christian fundamentalists see it, of course, as a clear indication of the devil’s power over fallen humanity. But their hellfire-and-brimstone warnings reach only a tiny portion.
The enormous increase in the material standard of living, allows people more freedom to experiment.
There is an increasing corruption of morals and unbridled exaltation of sex. In addition, Christians are confused because of the diversity of opinions contrary to the teaching of the Church.
The Church’s position is enunciated in the basic principle, drawn from natural law, that the sexual function has its true meaning and moral goodness only in marriage, so the document of the Church goes on to rule out premarital sex, homosexual acts and masturbation .
Premarital sex is ruled out by the Church even when the partners are deeply committed to each other and are impeded from marrying only by adverse circumstances.
On the other hand, sex has the potential to bring people to the deepest level of intimacy.
In his recently released book “Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage and Monogamy,” Regnerus examines the dramatic changes in American sexual beliefs that have led to an inability among increasing numbers of young men and women to marry, have children and be faithful to one another.
Three technological developments — highly effective contraceptives, high-quality Internet pornography and on-line dating/meeting services — have made sex (or sexual release) as easy to get in the U.S. as water from a tap. Together, they drive down the cost of real sex, and in turn slow the development of love, make fidelity more challenging and have even taken a toll on men’s marriage ability. No longer playing a supporting role in relationships, sex has emerged as a central priority in relationships.
Everything in this new world is instantaneous……..everything is available and at their finger tips! Cheap sex has become like eating fast food. it is a NOW generation. They younger generation has a hard time looking down the road –planning for the future.
There is an emergence of something called “Confluent Love”, which is “not forever” love, but love that asks whether this relationship is satisfying for both parties. When one party answers “no,” the relationship does not continue. Confluent love is the new norm that is shaping our dating and marriage relationships. For good or ill, neither partner will be happy with the final result.
In generations past, women generally made men wait until marriage to have sex. To get a wife (and, therefore, sex), men had to be clean and presentable and have a good job. This, Regnerus reasons, gave men all the motivation they needed to become respectable members of society. Nowadays young men can skip the detour of getting education and career prospects to qualify for sex. Now with porn on demand and greater reproductive freedom, sex is a commodity available at any time.
MEN AND WOMEN DIFFERENCES
Men and women are not the same with regard to sex. In general, men have more desire for sex than women. Women desire sex too, but they also want it with love, attention, care and, if they are smart, permanence. Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and even if they don’t want to give it away cheaply, men now expect it and can go elsewhere if a woman does not put out. In other words, if women want male attention, they have to give sex away cheaply because other women do and men won’t hang around if they don’t. It’s a vicious circle which leads to untold numbers of young people who have failed relationship after failed relationship.
Many women tend to be so hungry for love and touch that a little sex may give it to them, and so they may keep men on a chain. As compared to the past, many women today expect little in return for sex, in terms of time, attention, commitment or fidelity. Men, in turn, do not feel compelled to supply these goods as they once did.
Heterosexual women will have increasing difficulties finding a partner worth committing to. This leads women to settle, entering into doomed or otherwise unsatisfying marriages.
Women are getting married less because they are getting higher paying and higher educational jobs. But because women want to marry up, they only want to date the top 20% of men this presents a unique problem when all of the female population wants the same top 20% of men
There are those who still believe in the sanctity of marriage or a solid committed relationship with one partner. They believe in romantic LOVE that is for the long haul. They are usually loyal to whoever they fall in LOVE with. They believe in the old school ways of thinking where people stayed in marriages for better or worst. Whoever they fall in LOVE with will always come home to them.
There are many people who are very much in LOVE and who prefer to be together without the signed contract of marriage. Others prefer the one on one kind of committed LOVE celebrated at the altar with God as the third important Partner. These are healthy relationships, where both people should have their own personal space to shine in their own beautiful light. It’s that kind of LOVE that you can see yourself having a life with, creating a family, growing old with and seeing your children become adults and being grandparents together. This is the kind of love that men are losing by not marrying. Whoever you fall in LOVE with will always come home to you.
Marriage has become less of a priority for both genders simply because it is no longer made out to be the sole purpose of growing up in life… Education, travel, independence have all become valid and attainable choices for many. Both men and women no longer feel pressured to marry young.
These developments steer people away from thinking of sex as having anything to do with love, monogamy, or child-bearing — all traits that most Americans have long equated with marriage. Because sex is so readily available, people have lost the script that led them to marriage, family and permanence.
As women start to become more demanding of men, men turn away from women in pursuit of pleasure that costs little to nothing. We have failing rates of marriage and even greater rates of divorce.
As a consequence, men lose 50% of their property (real estate, cash, investments, etc) after divorce, plus add to this amount up to 18 years child support, including spousal support. So the costs can be staggering.
Continue reading ‘CHEAP SEX’ IS DESTROYING MARRIAGE
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