The soul has a strong desire and need for intimacy, and it loves vernacular life—that particular place, family, friends, neighborhood that are part of our daily life. That is why we look at ways of being in any kind of relationship soulfully: bonds that we feel with certain people.
A soul mate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected by divine grace. There is nothing more precious in life than our soul mate. Actually, this form of intimacy is not limited to one person or one form.
We are not talking about the interpersonal mechanics that comes to the foreground. Some nonchalantly say that we are simply programmed to act the way we do – almost like a machine. Not so! Today’s communication is technically sophisticated and speedy, but not necessarily more soulful.
We are dealing with questions like, “what is this thing when we fall madly in love?”, or “Why is this deep love never seemed to be satisfied?”, or “What is it that the soul wants upon separation?”
Some of us are frustrated and ask, “What is this continued failure to find love?” There are troubling aspects: doubts, distancing, desire for separation and freedom and endings. We suffer symptoms of loss of soul. The reason why we have so much trouble with relationships today may be our neglect of the study of the soul.
The soul loves attachments of all kinds – to places, ideas, times, sounds and music even in the ordinary details of everyday life. There are two pulls on our life: one upward toward success, progress, and intellectual clarity and another downward into individual, quiet life.
We have strong desires to have a family, live with another person, or join a community and yet after this has been satisfied, we are still drawn in exactly the opposite direction – our intimacy and our solitude. We must learn to honor both togetherness and individuality at the same time, even though we may sometimes feel a tug to one side only.
There are really two goals: one, to come to know yourself and two, to get to know the deep and subtle richness of the soul of the other. The final objective is to be both intimately connected with one another and at the same time, preserve one’s integrity and individuality.
This can be accomplished by giving the other sufficient emotional space in which to live and express one; then to risk revealing your own soul, complete with all its own absurdities. There are deep roots that may never have been revealed because of a lack o communication. The solution is not knowledge but love and a feeling that “you are accepted” by the other
We look at ourselves and we don’t like what we see. We try to change but the old imperfections remain steadfast. The basis of all relationships starts with the recognition that you have to be a friend to yourself – intimacy with oneself. The answer has everything to do with developing a good, intimate relationship to our own soul and the soul of others.
THE SOUL OF THE FAMILY
People living in the modern life often complain about a loss of traditional values and about feeling aimless, rootless and adrift. The culture of the family is a resource into which a person may dip throughout one’s life for direction, meaning and style.
One task is to forgive our parents for being imperfect. Life is much richer if we could let go of the excuse of parental failure and to establish a satisfying relationship with them. We benefit from the richness of a family and in particular of family stories, which identify who we are. The family may be one of the most powerful creative forces in our lives.
THE SOUL OF MARRIAGE
There is intermingling of souls that culminate in marriage – a demanding form of relationship. Marriage is a mystery, a sacrament and a sacred symbolic act. The interior of marriage is magical: it is fulfilling union that supplies a profound need for meaning, fulfillment and relatedness: a good home, fine children, happy days. Continue reading SOUL MATES